Do you consider eating dog meat an inhuman act?

There was an article on the radio news this morning that brought me close to tears. Apparently a sixty-six year old woman was walking her golden Labrador Retriever along the shore of Lake Ontario when she slipped on a rock and fell into the lake.

The announcer didn't say when happened, whether she suffered a heart attack, or hit her head on a rock, but in any case, she died. When someone finally noticed, the dog was towing his deceased mistress toward the shore.

I'm a dog owner of the same sex and age group, so maybe that influenced my reaction.I reached over and gave my chocolate lab an extra pat. He looked at me questioningly with his deep, dark chocolate-brown eyes. I knew exactly what he was thinking, "How long until lunch?"

I decided to write to distract my thoughts from the grim news item. What was one of the first suggested titles to catch my attention? "Do you consider eating dog meat an inhuman act?"

Of course it's an inhuman act. I'm not saying it should never happen. Perhaps if you were literally starving and had to make a choice between your child and your pet, then it would be permissible, but the conditions would have to extremely critical.

Dogs are not the dumb animals some people consider them to be. Canine researcher, Stanley Coren, a University of British Columbia psychologist found:

* A dog's mental abilities are close to those of a child aged 2.5 years.

* Dogs can learn 165 words, signs and signals.

* Those animals in the top 20% of intelligence can learn 250 words.

* Dogs are masters at reading body language. When you come home after breaking up with your significant other, your dog will immediately start acting very solicitously. Even though you haven't said a word, he will realize you are upset and try his best to comfort you.

A dog really is a human's best friend. It gives unconditional love, it never holds a grudge, and it will kiss the hand that has just mistreated it. Could anyone thoughtlessly kill and eat such a creature? I doubt that a rational human being living in a civilized society could ever do so, once he got to know the animal.

The newscaster on the radio said the dog who brought the woman's body to shore was given to family members who would give it a good home. It is indeed a heroic animal.

There are many heroic working dogs. Consider guide dogs who safeguard the blind and deaf against threats and dangers, police dogs who sniff out drugs and help their officers subdue criminals, St. Bernards who rescue skiers and hikers trapped in blizzards, herding dogs who protect cattle and sheep and keep them from wandering away.

These are not "dumb animals". They show more love, bravery, loyalty, and common sense than some humans I know. Eat one for lunch? Not likely!

Are North Americans too preoccupied with wealth?

The preoccupation with wealth of many citizens in our countries is obvious. Expensive cars in driveways, being paid for with car loans, heavily-mortgaged homes, collections of credit cards, each charging a high interest rate, all of these debts demand that families focus on finances. Both adult members must work long hours just to keep up with the required payments.

Why do families get themselves into this situation? In many cases, the parents believe that, in order to gain and maintain the respect of family, friends and neighbors, they need to be perceived as being well-off financially. Even after they possess all the amenities for a comfortable lifestyle, they are determined to "keep up with the Jones" no matter what sacrifices, both as individuals and as a family, they are required to make. Everyday life becomes a rat-race.

When the neighbors purchase a bigger, better barbecue, they try to figure which credit card will accommodate a similar purchase. Unfortunately, the stakes have a way of escalating. Eventually some neighbors, family members, or friends will be able to afford a motor home, a cottage up north, or travel to exotic destinations. Many of the remaining players in the "Showcase of Wealth" game will no longer be able to compete, and will be forced to drop out, sadder but hopefully wiser.

What have they sacrificed as individuals and as a family to learn these lessons?

The parents, constantly tired and stressed, usually speak abruptly, in harsh tones, to each other and the children. They lack time or energy to enjoy the toys they have worked so hard to purchase. They missed special moments in their children's lives which can never be recaptured. A baby-sitter witnessed those first steps, the first day in Kindergarten, the first lost tooth. Most of all, they missed the opportunity to establish a loving, trusting parent-child bond in those all-important preschool years.

And the children? Although they have many expensive toys and extensive wardrobes of high-fashion clothes, they are selfish and spoiled. They quarrel and act out to get the attention they crave from their preoccupied parents. Their friendships are limited because they are arrogant and condescending to other less well-off children whom they refer to as "peasants". They are often in trouble at school because they don't accept discipline well, and often try to claim privileges which are not permitted to other students.

It is past time that North Americans get their priorities in order. We can move forward by reaching back and appropriating lifestyles that worked well in the past. They would work well again, but our attitudes would need to undergo major adjustments.

In the nineteen fifties, families took center-stage. Fathers worked hard, made a decent, living wage and mothers stayed home to raise the children. Everyone lived within their means. There were few luxuries, but the family unit was strong. Juvenile delinquency was rare, and incidents of crime in smaller cities and towns were unusual. The front door of the family home was usually left open, whether or not anyone was home. Neighbors didn't compete with each other, they looked after each other.

If society becomes less materialistic and more values-oriented, we can recapture this good life again. Everyone will benefit. Once again, there will be responsible parents, well-adjusted children, safer neighborhoods and communities and a stronger country. They say that you can't go back again, but if the stakes are high enough, perhaps we can prove them wrong.

Should a society's progress be measured by increases to its GDP?

There are many more important indicators of a nation's "progress" to consider than its gross domestic product. We are all familiar with nations whose citizens produce many of the world's consumer goods, yet these same citizens slave for pennies a day, and exist in conditions of squalor and abject poverty.

Some of these countries are dictatorships, others are Communist states, but they share one element in common. The rulers, and/or the government officials, control the wealth earned through the labour of the people. The workers are allowed just enough of the necessities of life to maintain their strength so they can continue to work for the benefit of the leaders. Life for these workers is short, cheap, and devoid of most of the pleasures and comforts we take for granted.

If the progress of these nations were judged solely by the GDP, they would attain a very high score. This result would be far from the truth and convey to the world a false impression of living conditions for the ordinary person. The average citizen in these nations usually lives in extremely primitive conditions, conditions which make the poorest individual living in North America society appear to be well off.

The progress of a nation could more accurately be appraised by considering these indicators:

- the percentage of homeless people in the general population

- the percentage of households which have access to reliable electricity and efficient plumbing

- the ability of the people to choose their leaders through free elections

- the average life span for males and females

- the availability and affordability of adequate medical care to the average citizen

- the compulsory age to which children must attend school

- the literacy rate of the general population

- freedom of worship

- freedom of the press

- the mortality rate of children between birth and the age of five years

- the average annual income for single people and for families of various sizes.

The progress of a nation cannot be judged solely by the gross domestic product. Progressive nations have leaders who share the wealth from natural resources and the labour of its citizens with the population. A truly progressive nation is mirrored in the overall welfare and the living conditions of its people. For this reason, all of the above factors must be taken into consideration before determining just how progressive a particular country might be.

Developing confidence in ourselves and in others

The Oxford English Dictionary defines confidence as "a positive feeling gained from a belief in your own ability to do things well", and "faith in someone or something". For most of us, confidence in self develops slowly.

It is acquired as we experience repeated successes in a certain area. For example, after I have prepared dinner for many different guests over a period of months, and received enthusiastic compliments on my culinary skill, I begin to have confidence in my ability as a cook.

Developing confidence requires that our efforts be affirmed by other people, or at least one other person. If my husband likes my coffee, and often tells me so, I gain confidence in my ability to make a cup of coffee that he will always appreciate. If the staff at work, frequently compliment the coffee I make, and compare it favorably to the brew at the neighborhood coffee shop, my confidence will grow by leaps and bounds. The more votes of confidence we receive on our ability in a certain area, the greater our confidence becomes.

It is important for every child to develop confidence in his ability in at least one area. Many children who are not outstanding in academics, will have another talent, such as artistic ability or sports competency. Wherever his aptitude lies, his knowledge of its existence is an important factor in the overall growth of a healthy character. When he has episodes of disappointment or failure, as we all do, he will think, "Well, I may not be great in Math., but our team wouldn't have won the trophy without me!"

We also have confidence in other people. If your dentist repairs your teeth, and gives you a sparkling smile, over a period of years, you gain confidence in his skill and will confidently recommend him to friends and family.

Many of these trusting relationships will develop during one's lifetime: with the doctor, hairdresser, clergy person, and others with whom you consistently relate in a positive manner. It is important to verbally acknowledge their skill and express appreciation, so that their self-confidence, in turn, may grow.

We also develop confidence in products or things which have given consistently good service over a period of time. For example, at this time when foreign-made toys have been found to be actually dangerous to children, how many parents have taken time to write a brief note of appreciation to American or Canadian toy-makers who have produced safe and durable playthings for years? If these manufacturers receive enough votes of confidence, they will show their appreciation by ensuring that our children have safe, reasonably-priced toys for years to come.

Self-confidence, then, is a valuable commodity. It gives us the assurance to continue to do what we do well, and thus enrich the lives of the people around us and society in general. Our self-confidence develops as others express confidence in us.

In our turn, we are obligated to express the confidence we feel in others, including the manufacturers of quality products, so that their self-confidence may grow. In this way, a cycle of success is established. A society consisting of reliable, self-confident individuals who interact favorably with one another, can only be advantageous for all of us.

Does skin colour really matter?

If a man has red hair, should we automatically assume he has a bad temper? If a lady is an attractive blue-eyed blond, does that mean she's probably as thick as a brick? Of course not. The problem with judging people by physical attributes such as hair, eye, or skin colour is that these are notoriously unreliable guides to a person's true character.

Skin colour is merely an indication of where a person's family originated. People living in lands close to the Equator developed darker skin tones, as protection from the harsh rays of the sunlight they endured throughout most of the year. Those living closer to the earth's poles have paler skins.

Native peoples existed close to the land for generations, hunting, fishing and following a nomadic lifestyle throughout the seasons. They often have a bronze glow to their skin, a consequence of exposure to weather conditions of all kinds.

Throughout many generations, skin colour has evolved to best enhance the wellbeing of people living in different parts of the world under a variety of climatic conditions.

During the twentieth century, civilization has undergone significant changes. Travel has become easier, and people have become more mobile. Individuals and families have migrated hither and yon around the globe. When you walk down a main street in Toronto, New York or any metropolitan city, you will see representatives of every race under the sun.

This is good. The human family is getting to know each other. The diversity of the parts can contribute to the richness of the whole, as multicoloured threads can produce a glorious and awesome tapestry.

Inevitably, there will be difficulties as integration proceeds. When one group prefers to remain self-contained, speaking their own language, dogmatically following their own customs and refusing to be open to the different cultures with whom they coexist, hostilities often erupt. It may take several generations for effective amalgamation to take place.

The hope for the future is in the children. They are growing up together, in day-care centres, in schools, churches, clubs, hockey arenas, basketball courts, wherever young people gather to play, learn or compete. Soon, they will notice skin colour no more than hair or eye colour. The Bible says it all: "...and a little child shall lead them..." Is. 11:6.

After several more generations, skin colour will no longer be an an issue. The predominant hue of the majority will be something approaching "coffee with cream". That will finally put an end to racial discrimination, racial stereotyping and all the unpleasantness caused by short-sighted individuals who can't see past skin colour to discover the shared humanity we all possess.

There have been many enlightened souls already who had no need to wait for the arrival of that auspicious day. Among them are Albert Schweitzer, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela. They knew that hair, eye or skin colour were not reliable criteria for judging a person's real worth. They were able to see past the exterior shell to the essential human being within. Would that we all possessed the wisdom to join their number.

Is the plight of Afghan women our business?

Beyond the usual interest and concern that we should feel for fellow humans no matter where they live, the plight of the women in Afghanistan is not our business. They are merely at a point in the evolutionary process that women in most parts of the Western World have already passed. We tend to forget that women's suffrage was only gained in Canada in 1918, and in the United States in 1920.

The women of Afghanistan will procure more power within their society and greater human rights when they are ready to fight for them, just as North American women did. At that time, no outside nation would have dared to intrude and try to force American society and its government to alter the customs of the day. The struggle had to be launched and conducted by the women themselves.

Religious Muslims believe that Western societies are degenerate and corrupt. If our military forces tried to interfere in their established way of life, it would likely have a counter effect. All Afghani citizens would unite in an effort to retain their traditions and culture. It would take the women even longer to progress towards equality with their male counterparts.

Think for a minute what our reaction would be if Muslim forces descended on our cities and towns and tried to force their traditions and customs on our society. Every citizen would be ready to fight, with every means at their disposal, to repel the enemy. We would cling even more ferociously to our cherished customs and way of life. The Afghan people would probably react the same way, if outsiders tried to intrude and alter the lifestyle they have created.

We can send the Afghan women our prayers and good wishes as they wage their struggle to gain freedom from the repression under which they live. Other than that, we should mind our own business. The battle is theirs to wage. You can't stop progress. Sooner or later they will prevail, and they will emerge stronger and more confident for having wrestled the specter of male prejudice to the ground. We mustn't deprive them of that opportunity to flourish.

Regaining control of one's life through accepting personal responsibility

A sense of responsibility is something most people acquire in the process of growing up. Wise parents use guidelines, setting the child up for success, as he takes those first, hesitant steps towards becoming responsible for himself.

Do you remember the first time you were allowed to go to the corner store alone, or the first time you walked home from school by yourself? Those seemed like huge accomplishments at the time, but in reality they were small but important steps on the journey to self-sufficiency.

Most parents will proceed to build on previous experiences, and challenge the child to accept ever-increasing responsibilities until the late teenage years when he should be almost ready to live independently.

Semesters away from home at college or university will often bridge the gap from the safety of the parental nest to adult life when one is totally responsible for oneself.

Often, there will be slip-ups along the way. Because of a job loss, a marriage breakup, a mental or physical illness, addiction issues, or having to serve a prison sentence, an adult may find himself in a position of having to start over, to begin again to assume personal responsibility for himself and his affairs.

Where should he start?

His first priority is to find a means of self-support. He needs to go job hunting. He'll need a satisfactory living wage, but he shouldn't expect to start at the top of his field.

He should plan to spend at least six months learning the ropes: the routine, procedures and staff at his new place of  business. Assuming as little stress as possible from the work environment should be the objective at present. Promotions can come later.

He'll need a place to stay while he's becoming reestablished. If family or friends can fulfill this need temporarily, he should plan to show his gratitude with a generous gift to them once he becomes independent again.

Apartment hunting will be next on the agenda. Nothing elaborate need be chosen at this time. A few basic pieces of furniture: table, chair, fridge, bed, TV, will suffice until he has the means and the time to choose pieces he'll want to live with for the long term. Right now, the name of the game is survival.

To progress down the path to self-sufficiency, he'll need to stay healthy. He should stock the fridge and cupboards with nourishing food: fruit, vegetables, juices, milk and dairy products, nuts, tins of fish, peanut butter and whole grain bread. Junk food is not a necessity.

The following six months to a year

This should be a period of consolidation. He'll need time and a tranquil atmosphere as he regains control of his life through gradually assuming personal responsibility for his life.

There will be many things to occupy his attention during this time: arranging transportation, supplementing his wardrobe with suitable work and leisure apparel, furnishing the apartment to his liking, reconnecting with friends, and finding or retrieving enjoyable hobbies.

Once he is safe, secure and content in his new environment and comfortable in his new lifestyle, it will be time to start building a compatible social network. He will be ready to rejoin the world as a functional and productive member of society.

Having taken the time and effort to build a firm foundation for the future, it may be hoped that the individual will continue to grow and thrive and perhaps begin, or serve with a support group for whatever problem he overcame before commencing on his new life.

Some of us will need to learn the art of being responsible for ourselves more than once. As children, we master it slowly under the guidance of our parents. If we lose the ability as adults, for whatever reason, we'll have to do the hard work of maturing again, this time, often all by ourselves.