Divorce is an evil of contemporary society. Approximately one-half of all marriages fail to endure "until death do us part", as the spouses pledged in their wedding ceremony. The consequences of a marriage break-up are damaging for everyone, excepting, of course, the lawyers who make substantial financial gains from the legal proceedings.
For the couple involved, a divorcing is one of the most painful experiences life has to offer. Among the common difficulties are:
* Loss of a loved and trusted partner
If you were not the party who initiated divorce proceedings, you may be in a state of shock for some time. The person you loved, with whom you planned to spend the rest of your life, has betrayed your trust. That realization may hit you like a fast, hard fist in the stomach.
Compounding the misery, is the necessity of informing your family members and close friends of the new reality. Although this may be hard to do without dissolving into tears, these same relatives and friends will be your best sources of support through the difficult days ahead. Their compassion and affection will be of significant value as you begin the adjustment period, and also as you start your new life.
* Trauma for children
If there are children in the family, their emotional welfare must be of utmost concern.. They will lose the security of having two on-site parents. Their living arrangements will be disrupted. They may feel that they are somehow at fault for driving the departing parent away. They will cling desperately to the custodial parent, fearful he or she may also abandon them. Youngsters could benefit from psychological counselling to help them adjust to the new circumstances.
* Damage to self-image
Meanwhile, each spouse may be dealing with personal emotional issues. The departing partner should be dealing with, at least, a vague sense of guilt, even as he or she attempts to retain enough material assets with which to begin an independent life. The custodial parent must continue with daily routine of work and childcare, struggle with grief and loss, while trying to plan for the future. Both partners, if they are honest, must admit that they have failed at the marriage. Their ability to accurately judge the characters of members of the opposite sex is called into question. Moving forward, there can be no guarantee they will not make another such mistake in the future.
*Lifestyle change
Different housing arrangements, perhaps a change of schools and new routines must be established. Instead of two adults contributing to family scheduling and activities, there will now be only one. For childless couples, this will allow greater freedom for each partner. For those with children, the custodial parent usually has to accept the majority of responsibilities.
Financial hardship
Previous family income will be halved. Sacrifices will be made by everyone: music lessons, sports activities, vacations, family excursions and other "extras" will be eliminated or severely reduced in number.
* Adjustment of social circles
It is difficult, although not impossible, to stay close to former in-laws after a marriage break-up. The number of persons each spouse had previously considered as extended family will be drastically reduced.
Each partner will also confront a need to acquire new friends. They will no longer fit in with groups of other married couples. The process of meeting others takes time. Meanwhile, at least one partner, the one left behind, should expect a lengthy period of loneliness, regret and soul-searching.
For all these reasons, the decision to divorce should never be taken lightly. The couple, their children, their friends and family will all be negatively impacted by a marriage break-up. It is for humanity's benefit, not God's, that the Good Book decrees: "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
