The preoccupation with wealth of many citizens in our countries is obvious. Expensive cars in driveways, being paid for with car loans, heavily-mortgaged homes, collections of credit cards, each charging a high interest rate, all of these debts demand that families focus on finances. Both adult members must work long hours just to keep up with the required payments.
Why do families get themselves into this situation? In many cases, the parents believe that, in order to gain and maintain the respect of family, friends and neighbors, they need to be perceived as being well-off financially. Even after they possess all the amenities for a comfortable lifestyle, they are determined to "keep up with the Jones" no matter what sacrifices, both as individuals and as a family, they are required to make. Everyday life becomes a rat-race.
When the neighbors purchase a bigger, better barbecue, they try to figure which credit card will accommodate a similar purchase. Unfortunately, the stakes have a way of escalating. Eventually some neighbors, family members, or friends will be able to afford a motor home, a cottage up north, or travel to exotic destinations. Many of the remaining players in the "Showcase of Wealth" game will no longer be able to compete, and will be forced to drop out, sadder but hopefully wiser.
What have they sacrificed as individuals and as a family to learn these lessons?
The parents, constantly tired and stressed, usually speak abruptly, in harsh tones, to each other and the children. They lack time or energy to enjoy the toys they have worked so hard to purchase. They missed special moments in their children's lives which can never be recaptured. A baby-sitter witnessed those first steps, the first day in Kindergarten, the first lost tooth. Most of all, they missed the opportunity to establish a loving, trusting parent-child bond in those all-important preschool years.
And the children? Although they have many expensive toys and extensive wardrobes of high-fashion clothes, they are selfish and spoiled. They quarrel and act out to get the attention they crave from their preoccupied parents. Their friendships are limited because they are arrogant and condescending to other less well-off children whom they refer to as "peasants". They are often in trouble at school because they don't accept discipline well, and often try to claim privileges which are not permitted to other students.
It is past time that North Americans get their priorities in order. We can move forward by reaching back and appropriating lifestyles that worked well in the past. They would work well again, but our attitudes would need to undergo major adjustments.
In the nineteen fifties, families took center-stage. Fathers worked hard, made a decent, living wage and mothers stayed home to raise the children. Everyone lived within their means. There were few luxuries, but the family unit was strong. Juvenile delinquency was rare, and incidents of crime in smaller cities and towns were unusual. The front door of the family home was usually left open, whether or not anyone was home. Neighbors didn't compete with each other, they looked after each other.
If society becomes less materialistic and more values-oriented, we can recapture this good life again. Everyone will benefit. Once again, there will be responsible parents, well-adjusted children, safer neighborhoods and communities and a stronger country. They say that you can't go back again, but if the stakes are high enough, perhaps we can prove them wrong.
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