Developing confidence in ourselves and in others

The Oxford English Dictionary defines confidence as "a positive feeling gained from a belief in your own ability to do things well", and "faith in someone or something". For most of us, confidence in self develops slowly.

It is acquired as we experience repeated successes in a certain area. For example, after I have prepared dinner for many different guests over a period of months, and received enthusiastic compliments on my culinary skill, I begin to have confidence in my ability as a cook.

Developing confidence requires that our efforts be affirmed by other people, or at least one other person. If my husband likes my coffee, and often tells me so, I gain confidence in my ability to make a cup of coffee that he will always appreciate. If the staff at work, frequently compliment the coffee I make, and compare it favorably to the brew at the neighborhood coffee shop, my confidence will grow by leaps and bounds. The more votes of confidence we receive on our ability in a certain area, the greater our confidence becomes.

It is important for every child to develop confidence in his ability in at least one area. Many children who are not outstanding in academics, will have another talent, such as artistic ability or sports competency. Wherever his aptitude lies, his knowledge of its existence is an important factor in the overall growth of a healthy character. When he has episodes of disappointment or failure, as we all do, he will think, "Well, I may not be great in Math., but our team wouldn't have won the trophy without me!"

We also have confidence in other people. If your dentist repairs your teeth, and gives you a sparkling smile, over a period of years, you gain confidence in his skill and will confidently recommend him to friends and family.

Many of these trusting relationships will develop during one's lifetime: with the doctor, hairdresser, clergy person, and others with whom you consistently relate in a positive manner. It is important to verbally acknowledge their skill and express appreciation, so that their self-confidence, in turn, may grow.

We also develop confidence in products or things which have given consistently good service over a period of time. For example, at this time when foreign-made toys have been found to be actually dangerous to children, how many parents have taken time to write a brief note of appreciation to American or Canadian toy-makers who have produced safe and durable playthings for years? If these manufacturers receive enough votes of confidence, they will show their appreciation by ensuring that our children have safe, reasonably-priced toys for years to come.

Self-confidence, then, is a valuable commodity. It gives us the assurance to continue to do what we do well, and thus enrich the lives of the people around us and society in general. Our self-confidence develops as others express confidence in us.

In our turn, we are obligated to express the confidence we feel in others, including the manufacturers of quality products, so that their self-confidence may grow. In this way, a cycle of success is established. A society consisting of reliable, self-confident individuals who interact favorably with one another, can only be advantageous for all of us.